Liam vs Lawro: 28-29th December 2019 Results

This is the second week I’ve taken on BBC Sports’ Mark Lawrenson, trying to predict the scores from the week’s Premier League programme.

In week one, Lawro beat me 50-30 (you get 40 points for a correct scoreline and 10 points for a correct outcome).

How would I fair in week two?

Brighton and Hove Albion 2-0 Bournemouth

I said: 2-0 to Brighton

Lawro said: 2-1 Bournemouth

A tremendous start to the weekend’s activities!

A forty pointer right out the blocks for me and made all the sweeter by Lawro getting no points.

I won’t lie, I got damn cocky after this result.

The victory dance was suitably creepy.

It wasn’t all plain sailing as Dan Burn had a perfectly good goal ruled out for “offside” (see my rant here: https://couchpotatoscorner.sport.blog/2019/12/28/stop-bitching-about-var-start-bitching-about-the-offside-law/), which would have made it 2-0. But thankfully Aaron Mooy saved my bacon with ten minutes to go.

Liam 40-0 Lawro.

In your FACE Lawrenson!

Newcastle United 1-2 Everton

I said: 1-1 draw

Lawro said: 1-1

A rare occasion where myself and Lawro find ourselves in absolute agreement. I feel validated.

I felt extra validated and confident when Schär leveled for Newcastle on 56 minutes.

But Calvert-Lewin just had to go and show off for his new boss by getting his third in two games.

Kiss ass.

It remains Liam 40-0 Lawro

Southampton 1-1 Crystal Palace

I said: 3-0 Southampton

Lawro said: 2-0 Southampton

Ok, maybe I went a little nuts with this one. But Lawro wasn’t that far behind me.

Any hopes either of us would take 40 points from this one were dashed in the 50th minute when Tomkins gave Palace the lead.

Danny Ings continued his fine run of recent form to draw level so ten points a piece was possible, but ’twas not to be.

It still remains Liam 40-0 Lawro.

Watford 3-0 Aston Villa

I said: 1-1 draw

Lawro said: 2-1 Watford

My stupid gut talked me out of calling a home win and claiming ten points on this one.

Stupid, stupid, stupid.

Lawro had no such stupidity and the saving grace is he didn’t get the score right.

Liam 40-10 Lawro

Norwich City 2-2 Tottenham Hotspur

I said: 3-0 Tottenham

Lawro said: 2-0 Tottenham

Once again, myself and Lawro are equally wrong on this one.

As my girlfriend is from Norwich, I’m happy to take no points off this.

Still: Liam 40-10 Lawro

West Ham United 1-2 Leicester City

I said: 2-0 Leicester

Lawro said: 1-1 draw

And I’m back in the game!

Sure Pablo Fornals denied me the full forty here, but Lawro inexplicably thought West Ham could draw with Leicester so got no points.

Booyah!

Victory dance resumes.

Now: Liam 50-10 Lawro

Burnley 0-2 Manchester United

I said: 4-0 United

Lawro said: 2-0 United

Fuck you, Rashford!

Fuck.

YOU!

Ahem.

Now: Liam 60-50 Lawro

Arsenal 1-2 Chelsea

I said: 3-2 to Arsenal

Lawro said: 1-1 draw

Again, we’re both dead wrong with this one so I maintain my very slender lead over The Master.

Still: Liam 60-50 Lawro

Liverpool 1-0 Wolverhampton Wanderers

I said: 3-1 Liverpool

Lawro said: 2-0 Liverpool

Heavy sigh of relief after this one that Liverpool didn’t manage to find a second and give Lawro the full four points.

You see that, Rashford? That’s how you do it! DON’T score.

We both pick up 10 points and the score is now Liam 70-60 Lawro

Manchester City 2-0 Sheffield United

I said: 2-1 Sheffield

Lawro said: 3-0 City

Well that’s what I get for taking stupid, non calcuated risks.

I got burned.

Lawro picked up ten points, I got none and we end in a tie.

Had I just been sensible, I would have ended the week on 80 points and taken the spoils of war.

But NO! You just had to show off, didn’t you Liam?!

Idiot.

Final score: Liam 70-70 Lawro

A much improved showing from me.

A couple of silly predictions cost it for me in the end.

Let’s see if it’s third time lucky!

Running total: Liam 100-120 Lawro

Published by Liam Pritchard

I am a writer and a poet. I say that but, actually, I’m one of those annoying breed of people who pretentiously call themselves writers and/or poets but don’t actually do any writing and stay depressed at their lack of productivity. Far more accurate would be to say that I am an arrogant, ill informed and over opinionated sod with an under developed ability to sense when he’s not funny. But “writer and poet” sounds better and I’m sticking with it. A friend – clearly fed up with my moaning about never producing any body of writing – suggested that I start a blog. My first reaction was “what the **** am I going to write about that anyone will want to read?” Then it dawned on me that it is fairly certain no one will ever read a single word I say on here. But that’s fine. I’m used to talking to myself. In school, I used to spend hours imagining I was a dragon who ran his own restaurant. Or, while playing “mummies and daddies,” I once proclaimed myself Granddad, shipped myself off to war, was promptly shot and killed and lay there dead for the rest of play time (and the entirely of the subsequent three play times). Don’t get me wrong. I had friends. Or at least I don’t recall being conscious of not having friends. I just used to spend a lot of time in my own little world. Not a lot has changed really. So! If you’re a real life human being who has stumbled across my little blog: erm, sorry! You’re really not getting these wasted minutes of your life back. I can’t even offer you photos of grumpy cats to compensate you. Peace and love! xx

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